


i will follow you into the dark

by alinaandalion



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dark Swan, F/F, hook makes a brief appearance, small mention of outlaw queen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-01-12
Packaged: 2018-05-13 11:07:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5705380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alinaandalion/pseuds/alinaandalion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Emma becomes the new Dark One, Regina has to figure out how to move forward and find a way to save Emma.  Except that Emma might not want to be saved after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i will follow you into the dark

**Author's Note:**

> Basically takes all of S5 and chucks it out the door. No Camelot, no Dark Hook or whatever. This is Part One of Two which will hopefully be completed by the end of the weekend. A lot of that will come down to whether or not I have to travel for work this weekend. We will see.

It’s quiet.  When it’s all over, when it’s just a dagger lying in the road,  _ Emma Swan _ carved into it, there’s simply nothing.  

They stand there for a little while, unsure, looking, possibly expecting Emma to just appear, fine and whole and shining like the sun, but the silence just grows and echoes.  Regina moves first.  She moves out of Robin’s grasp and takes slow halting steps towards the dagger, grasps the hilt with trembling fingers.

She breathes, “ _ Emma _ ,” but that doesn’t do anything.  Emma is still gone.

She can hear the others behind her, Snow crying and Hook demanding that Emma be brought back that instant, but she doesn’t turn to face them.  She walks away, dagger clutched tightly in her hand, walks back to the diner.  She has to tell Henry.

 

*****

 

Henry clings to her right hand as they leave the diner, dagger still clasped tightly in her left.  She doesn’t pay much attention to where they’re going, focused on her brave little prince and the way he keeps squeezing her fingers as though he’s reminding her that he’s still here, that he won’t let go.

They end up in the apartment, and Henry clambers up the stairs, pulling her behind him into the area that’s Emma’s.  Only to find Hook sitting on Emma’s bed and drinking from his flask.

“Get out,” Henry demands, voice cracking on the last syllable, and she puts a hand on his shoulder to calm him, keep him steady.

Hook’s mouth twists and he says, “No.  I have as much a right to be here as you.”

Anger flares inside her and magic crackles across her palms as she steps forward and says, “No, you don’t.  My son wants you to leave.  So get out.”

Snarling, Hook lunges at her.  She considers for a moment just killing him for the audacity, the need to hurt sitting inside her chest, but she simply flicks her hand and sends him tumbling to the floor.  

As Hook gets to his feet, Henry moves closer behind her, clinging to the back of her jacket; she stills, waits, and Hook leaves.  Henry pulls on her jacket, like he used to do when he was small and wanted her attention, her bright boy, and she turns to him, pulling him into her arms as he sobs.

 

*****

 

She holds the dagger, turning it over and over, the name inscribed on its surface on the tip of her tongue even as she hesitates to speak it out loud.  She still remembers how that darkness felt, burning and cold and suffocating, but also that delirious power, the almost irresistible promise of magic that wanted to possess and use her and make her invincible.

Breathing in, she whispers, “Dark One, I summon you.”

There’s a moment when she doubts that it worked, that the rules are still the same, but then she feels her presence and turns.

Emma gives her a faint smile.  “Hi.”

She breathes out, “Emma,” and steps toward her, reaching a trembling hand out.

Emma shies away and stalks along the edges of the room, eyes fixed on Regina.  Regina opts to stay silent and watch as she takes in the changes wrought in Emma’s appearance.  She’s so pale, almost appearing insubstantial, but her eyes burn, dark and deep-set.  There’s an ease in Emma’s movements that Regina hasn’t seen before, an assurance that borders on regal.

“Why did you call me here?” Emma asks, voice soft but edged with demand.

“I needed to see you,” Regina replies as she tracks Emma’s movements.  “I wanted to see you.  To know that you’re all right.”

Emma laughs, the sound almost a harsh cackle.  “Of course.  Are you going to save me, Regina?  Are  _ you _ the Savior now?”

Flexing her hand against the dagger’s hilt, Regina says, “No, I’m not.”

“Then what are you doing?” Emma says before she disappears in a puff of navy smoke.  She reappears right in front of Regina a moment later, lips curved into a smile that makes a shiver run down Regina’s spine.  “Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

“Are you happy like this?” Regina asks quietly as she looks Emma in the eye.  “Is this what you want?”

Emma narrows her eyes and disappears; she poofs back into view near the vault’s exit.  Regina watches as Emma presses her hands to the cool stone walls then edges her way around the room, her shoulders slumping, hands fidgeting and tapping against the wall like she’s caged and trying to get out.

Emma finally looks back at her and whispers, “Please let me go.”

Regina considers for a moment.  She lets her grip on the dagger loosen as she says, “Go.”

Then Emma disappears, again, and all Regina has is the dagger in her hand.

 

*****

 

Henry shows her the broken pen later, days after losing Emma, his voice cracking and breaking as he explains.  

“If I hadn’t—I could have saved her,” he says, and Regina wraps her arms around him.

She holds him as tight as she can (and he’s growing and growing even now and she remembers Emma joking about it and it’s too much) and says, “No,  _ mijo _ .  No, you did the right thing.  She’ll be so proud of you.”

She feels the wetness of his tears against her neck as he sobs, “I miss her so much, Mom.”

 

*****

 

The next time she sees Emma, it’s not exactly something she’s expecting.  It’s been over a week, and Emma just appears in Regina’s vault with a hesitant smile on her face.

“Hi,” Emma says quietly.

Regina puts aside the spell book she’d been reading and says, “What are you doing here?”

Her tone is harsher than she intended, but Regina doesn’t apologize even though Emma flinches and shrinks back against the wall.  Regina picks up the dagger from where she left it sitting beside her and sets it in her lap, taking in Emma’s hungry eyes at the sight of it.

“You still have it,” Emma murmurs, reaching out with pale fingers.

Regina flexes her hands but doesn’t shift as she says, “Do you want it?”

Emma steps forward, but she frowns as she looks at Regina.  She falters and Regina breathes out, taking the dagger in hand as she stands and strides over to Emma.  She takes Emma’s trembling outstretched hand and places it on the hilt of the dagger over her own fingers.  Emma’s skin is cold against her own, and Emma’s eyes flicker from Regina’s face to the dagger and back.

“It’s yours,” Regina says quietly as she steps closer to Emma.  “If you want it, then it’s yours to take.”

Emma’s eyebrows furrow and she tightens her grip on the dagger, on Regina’s fingers.  Then she flings Regina’s hand away and withdraws, her face paler than before.

“I can’t,” Emma says, voice soft.  “But you trust me with it?”

Regina shakes her head.  “No.  But I won’t withhold it from you.”

Emma’s eyes are wide, lost as she stares at Regina, as she says, “I want you to keep it.  I need you to keep it safe while I figure all of this out.”

“And after that?” Regina asks.

“I don’t know.”  Emma gives her a tremulous smile.  “I don’t know.”

Then she disappears.  Regina lets her shoulders slump, sighing as she looks around the vault.  She looks down at the dagger and with a wave of her hand, she fashions a sheath for it and a belt that she fastens around her waist to keep the dagger with her.

 

*****

 

It becomes a regular thing for Emma to appear in Regina’s vault.  Not daily but often enough that Regina isn’t surprised by her anymore.  Sometimes, Emma doesn’t say anything at all; she simply sits and watches Regina with guarded eyes before leaving as suddenly as she appeared.

One day, Emma asks, “Are you trying to find a way to fix me?”

Regina frowns at the question, at Emma’s mocking tone, and she says, “Not exactly.  But I didn’t get the impression that you want to be the Dark One forever, so I am trying to find a way to free you from that.”

“And what if I like being the Dark One?” Emma replies, her cheeks flushing.  “Will you stop trying?”

Regina sighs and snaps her book closed.  “Do you want to stay the Dark One?”

Emma looks away, won’t meet her eyes, and Regina’s fingers twitch, tempted to reach for the dagger and force the answer out.  She clenches her hands into fists instead and waits as Emma fidgets and picks at a loose thread of her black sweater.  (Everything Emma wears is black now; Regina keeps finding herself reaching for the boldest pieces in her closet every morning, struggling to find a way to hold onto the light that was so hard-won.)  

“I chose this,” Emma finally says, still staring down at the floor.

“For me,” Regina says without thinking, her voice too soft and breathy, still amazed at how Emma flung herself into the line of fire without hesitation, still terrified of what that might mean.

Emma looks up at her then, and her mouth is hard as she replies, “I did then.  But now—maybe I want to choose this for myself.”

Regina swallows and curls her fingers over the edge of the book in her lap; she wants so much to say  _ no, you can’t, _ but she doesn’t dare.  Not when Emma is looking at her with aching, wide-open eyes.  

“Okay,” Regina says, voice cracking as she reaches across the empty space to Emma.  “Okay.”

And Emma surges forward, her fingers grasping at Regina’s own, skin still so cold but her eyes blazing.  Regina feels that heat sear straight through to her bones and holds tight, breathing in and out as Emma presses her hand palm-to-palm with Regina’s.  

 

*****

 

When Robin shows up outside her front door, it feels like a relief.  She’s been avoiding him for weeks now, burying herself deeper in dusty tomes that Belle dragged out of the back of Rumple’s shop, but now that he’s here, she can finally confront the truth and get it over with.

“Regina,” he starts, the lines in his face more pronounced in the dim light.  “We need to talk.”

“We do,” she says softly as she steps outside and pulls the door closed.  “I’m sorry that I haven’t seen you recently but I’ve been busy with--”

“Emma,” he cuts in, frowning.  “And I think I know why.”

She sighs and clenches her hands into fists at her sides to keep from reaching out to him.  “Robin, I didn’t want to hurt you.”

He nods and doesn’t quite meet her gaze as he says, “I just think the timing is never going to be right for us.  Maybe we should quit trying.”

A part of her is  _ angry _ with him for this because she has tried, over and over and over again, and somehow it was always  _ him _ walking away from  _ her _ .  And to do that again rankles, but she holds onto the bigger picture that, soulmate or not, this is not what she wants.  He might be saying the words, but she walked away first and there’s some sort of victory in that.

“I think so,” she says, crossing her arms over her stomach.  

He just stands there and looks at her like he’s expecting her to say more or take it back.  But there aren’t any more words and she’s tired and she’s finally ready to lay down this fight.

She smiles sadly and says, “Goodbye, Robin.”

She turns and walks into the house without looking back.  She sees Henry at the top of the stairs and then he’s rushing down them into her arms.  He holds onto her tightly as she tries to hold back tears and he says, “it’s going to be okay, Mom.”

She just holds on even tighter.

 

*****

 

“I want to see her, Mom,” Henry says one morning as he picks at his spinach omelet. 

Regina glances over at him and says, “Henry—“

“I know you’ve seen her,” he cuts in, eyes narrowed.  “Why doesn’t she want to see me?  She’s still my mom, too, no matter what.”

“I know, _mijo_ ,” Regina murmurs.  She blinks back the tears stinging her eyes and reaches over to take his hand.  “I’ll talk to her.  Emma has been—she’s different right now and she’s afraid.  She might need more time.”

He frowns but doesn’t pull away.  “It’s not fair.”

She laughs, the sound almost a sob, and says, “No, it’s not.”

 

*****

 

Regina waits to mention Henry to Emma until Emma has been sitting on the vault floor for a couple of hours, apparently content to simply watch Regina read that day, and when Regina does speak, she tries to keep her voice light to mask her growing frustration.

“Henry has been asking about you.”  She turns another page and sneaks a glance at Emma, frowns when she sees that Emma is staring down at the ground.  “He’s worried.  And he misses you.”

“You can tell him I’m fine,” Emma replies quietly as she twists her fingers together. 

Regina clenches her jaw and says, “He’s your son, Emma, and it’s been weeks.  I don’t understand why you refuse—“

“I’m not safe,” Emma snaps, raising her head and glaring at Regina.  “I don’t have control over my magic and it’s dangerous now.”

“But you wouldn’t ever hurt him,” Regina says.  She holds Emma’s gaze and reaches out to her.  “You’re not dangerous, Emma.  I know you’re not.”

Emma shakes her head and says, “I could, Regina.  I do things with my magic without thinking now and I  _ like _ it.”

Regina’s mouth is dry as she asks, “Like what?”

“I’ll show you,” is all Emma says before they’re disappearing in a whorl of dark blue smoke.

They reappear deep in the forest and Regina looks around.  She sees the dark, congealed blood first, then the mangled body, and she steps back with a cry, her stomach twisting.  It doesn’t look human, but she still feels weak at the knees.  Emma lays a hand on the small of her back to steady her, and Regina recoils, breath shuddering out of her.

“Why?” she asks as she turns to look at Emma.

Emma shrugs and her eyes are dark as she looks at the carnage.  “I wanted to.  I was angry and wanted to hurt something and the deer was there.”

“Why were you angry?” Regina asks, leaning her back against a nearby tree, still unable to look away.

“Neal.”  Emma pauses and clenches her hands into fists, and Regina can see the magic crackling in her palms.  “I was watching my parents and Neal was crying, and they were so—they were so worried about him.  And I hated him so much because he has everything and I never did and I wanted—“

Regina reaches across the space between them and takes Emma’s arm, trails her fingers down until she can wrap them around Emma’s wrist.  She tugs, pulls Emma closer, and though the friction of magic is still there, she can feel it fading from Emma’s grasp.

“I thought this was better,” Emma says, her breath skimming against Regina’s cheek as she settles and splays her right hand over Regina’s hip.  “But I’m not safe to be around.”

Swallowing, Regina tilts her head back and asks, “What about me?  Am I safe with you?”

“I don’t know.”  Emma closes her eyes and grips Regina’s hip hard in her hand, stepping closer.  “Probably not.  I don’t know why you—I don’t understand…”

“Oh,  _ Emma _ ,” Regina breathes out, brushing  her thumb along the line of Emma’s cheekbone.

She kisses Emma first, slipping her hand to curl around the back of Emma’s neck, holding her close as Emma sighs against her mouth and sinks into her.  Emma is tremulous, soft, and Regina’s head spins with the fact that they’re finally here; Emma presses in, teeth nipping at Regina’s bottom lip, hands hard and demanding as she kisses Regina again and again like she can’t get enough either, like she can’t get close enough. 

Then, Emma pulls free of her grasp and before Regina can move or say anything, Emma disappears.  Regina stares at the space where Emma had been standing only a moment before, chest heaving as she tries to catch her breath, and fire explodes in her palms as she tries to swallow back a shriek of anger clawing up her throat.  She sees a flicker of movement in her peripheral vision and whirls to confront the unfortunate soul to come across her now.

The deer freezes and Regina stares at it, fingers twitching with want.  She laughs, the sound harsh, and the deer takes off into trees as Regina sinks to the ground.  Tears stream down her face as she laughs, unable to stop, until she vomits on the grass, retching again and again until she tastes blood in her mouth.


End file.
